SCANDAL! Clara Bow: The It Girl's Lifestyle on Trial

Welcome to 2013 - a year of scandals at A Person in the Dark. Yes, I love movies, but I confess I am a sucker for those juicy Hollywood scandals of old.

October's scandal: Clara Bow and the Hired Help

The irresistible Clara Bow

The troubled life of Clara Bow is legendary. Behind the vivacious and fun-loving persona of the "It Girl" was an uneducated woman whose mad mother had tried to kill her and whose drunken amd worthless father had most likely sexually abused her. Her trusting nature and lack of a support system that had her best interests at heart lead her to be taken advantage of by friends, lovers, family and employers. Paramount Studios had notoriously overworked her and exploited the quintessential flapper in movie after movie and, when she was worn out by life and frightened by the microphone, famously saw her as all washed up at age 25. Her no-good father continued to mooch off of her until his death and lovers used her to get their names in the papers.

Clara never thought she was beautiful, but we disagree

From 1923 - 1929 Clara Bow was one of Hollywood's biggest stars. She was also one of its most provocative, with scandals always swirling about her. Her parade of lovers was legendary (she had four fiancees: Gilbert Roland, Victor Fleming, Harry Richmond and eventual hubby, Rex Bell, as well affairs with Gary Cooper, a married doctor whose wife named her as the "other woman" in a divorce case and maybe Bela Lugosi who kept a nude portrait of Clara until his death) and her devil-may-care attitude shocked many of Hollywood's elite.

Clara's fiancees: Rex Bell, Gilbert Roland, Victor Fleming and Harry Richman

By 1930, Clara was worn out. Tired of the merry-go-round of lovers, the callousness of her studio and scared to death of sound films, Clara thought she had found 2 strokes of good luck when (a) handsome cowboy star Rex Bell entered her life, and (b) private secretary (and former hairdresser) Daisy DeVoe (originally DeBoe) began to set her affairs in order. There was only one problem: Bell and Devoe disliked one another and guarded Clara, and their position in her life, with equal jealously.

In 1929, DeVoe opened a "special account" in which Clara's paychecks were deposited and from which DeVoe paid her bills. Under DeVoe's management, Clara went from near bankruptcy to financial health. However, she lost the power struggle with Bell, who accused Daisy of stealing from Clara and fired her. When Daisy asked for a severance settlement, Bell interpreted this as blackmail and notified the police.

At Bell's and Paramount's request, DeVoe was arrested and questioned for 27 straight hours. Sticking to her guns, she refused to sign a confession and steadfastly asserted her innocence. She was then jailed without the opportunity to contact an attorney. Upon release, she sued the Los Angeles District Attorney for false imprisonment  who, in turn, retaliated by charging Devoe with 37 counts of grand theft.

Clara is smeared 

In the end, DeVoe was cleared of 34 counts and found guilty, unbelievably  of only 1. It was unbelievable because it involved a check for $825 signed by Clara herself and made payable to the IRS for her income taxes. For this offence, DeVoe got 18 months in prison.

Clara testifies to the Grand Jury

But it was Clara Bow who received the harshest punishment. During the trial DeVoe divulged the most intimate and unflattering tales of Clara Bow's life. Tales of wild sexual encounters, drunkenness and gambling kept the public's attention glued to the trial. Smelling blood, a smarmy yellow paper called The Coast Reporter printed unsubstantiated tales of drugs, gang sex with the USC football team, sex in public, sex with multiple partners, sex with men, sex with women and even sex with dogs. Clara was ruined. In the court of public opinion, Clara Bow was morally unfit to appear in films. Adding insult to injury, Paramount cancelled her contract and screwed her out of the money owed to her.

Clara comes back in "Call Her Savage" looking beautiful and
supported by old friend Gilbert Roland

Clara, bruised and exhausted, married Bell and retreated from the public eye. She made a comeback with Fox Pictures in 1932 making 2 films that were successful. But, Clara had had enough. The remainder of her life was lived largely out of the public gaze, although Bell went on to have a political career in Nevada. While she struggled mightily with her demons for the rest of her life, she and Bell remained married and she had 2 sons who worshiped their mother until the day she died. Ex-fiancee Gilbert Roland never abandoned her completely and wrote her tender and affectionate letters throughout her life.

Although Clara and Rex had a rocky marriage,
she was devoted to her 2 beautiful boys

The story of Clara's dysfunctional Hollywood home eventually found itself as the basis for the Jean Harlow film, "Bombshell." Directed by ex-flame Victor Fleming, he knew first hand how the leeches that surround a star can drain the life out of her. Although it was played for laughs, the vulnerability and hurt that was Clara's was never forgotten by the man who once loved her.

Clara as she is remembered best: sexy, adorable and modern

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I'll Take Manhattan (on a TCM Tour!)

While not exactly Hollywood, New York City can puff out its chest when it comes to iconic movie sites and proudly call itself the most filmed city in the world.  As both a tribute and an education, Turner Classic Movies and On Location Tours is offering a 3-hour tour (yes, a 3-hour tour) exploring the movie locations and inspirations of Manhattan.

On a glorious New York September Saturday, our tour started at the aptly-named Ellen's Stardust Diner on Broadway and 51st street (home of the singing wait staff).

Some of the tour highlights:

Okay, folks, I admit it. I NEVER get much of a chance to visit Manhattan's upper west side, since all of my friends and acquaintances don't travel in those tony circles. So, the sites in this neighborhood were a real treat for me.

The Ansonia Hotel

This gorgeous, historic structure was the setting for "The Sunshine Boys" starring George Burns and Walter Matthau, as well as the creepy "Single White Female." Hey - I'd answer an add to share an apartment in that building!

Zabar's

I know it's a food store, but what a food store! Ever since I saw Woody Allen and Mariel Hemingway shopping there, I was smitten.

Breakfast at Tiffany's

2 awesome iconic sites for this film: of course, Tiffany's

And, the outside of the glorious townhouse that was Holly's crash pad.

The Seven Year Itch

Who can forget Marilyn's famous subway grate pose? Sadly, there is no marker at the spot (although TCM is working on having a plaque made to mark the location). 

This unforgettable image was actually shot in Los Angeles, since there were too many gawkers in Manhattan. 

However, here is the actual subway grate and tour guide Jason and driver Harold did their best MM imitation. Thanks, guys!

The Dakota

The home of "Rosemary's Baby." Still looking creepy...

Cary Grant was here!!!

Just to be in the same spot where he stood, he breathed....ahh....

"An Affair to Remember"

I know the ape is famous for climbing this building, and Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks shared a moment here, but I'm all starry-eyed because Cary Grant waited there... all night....

North by Northwest (Grand Central Station)

Yes, Cary was here, too, eluding his captors....

North by Northwest (The Plaza)

And here, having a drink at the Oak Bar and sneaking into rooms.

Manhattan

This unforgettable image was filmed at the foot of the Queensboro Bridge (also known as the 59th Street Bridge and officially as the Ed Koch Queensboro Bridge). The bench shared by Woody Allen and Diane Keaton was strategically placed for the film.

So nice to know that Robert Osborne and I share a love for this film. If you're ever invited to Sutton Place, please let me know. I'd give anything to take a peak into those beautiful homes.

And this is just a taste of this very tasty tour. Stops also included Rockefeller Center, FAO Schwartz, The Waldorf-Astoria, Central Park and sadly, some sites that no longer exist. The saddest for me was that Meg Ryan's beautiful Shop Around the Corner in "You've Got Mail, " once a charming antique store, is now a cleaners. Ah, progress (but it is organic!).

I leave you with the very first film made in Manhattan, an 1896 moving image of mounted policemen in Central Park. Movies and Manhattan - the start of a beautiful love affair.

For more about TCM tour's, click HERE.

Many, many thanks to the Lady Eve for passing this opportunity my way. If you haven't familiarized yourself with her superb site, The Lady Eve's Reel Life, well, you simply must!!

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PICTURE SNATCHER: CAGNEY TURNS YELLOW! (yellow journalism, that is)

This post is part of the Journalism is Classic Film Blogathon hosted by Comet Over Hollywood and Lindsay's Movie Musings.

Picture Snatcher Job Description

There's good, classic journalism, there's hard-hitting journalism, and then there is that old favorite of the masses, yellow journalism. Dating back to the late 19th century and a feud between the Hearst and Pulitzer New York newspapers, yellow journalism generally is defined by a sleazy and sensationalized approach to its topic - a perfect theme for a Warner Brothers quickie starring that pre-code prince of amorality, James Cagney.

Cagney practices his technique

In this 1933 goodie, Jimmy plays Danny Kean, a gangster (naturally) who harbors a secret desire to be a newspaper reporter. Once he completes the obligatory detention in the clink, Danny turns over the "business" to Jerry the Mug (the dirty dog who set him up) and decides to go  - if not straight - at least not quite so crooked.

Ralph Bellamy as Al - yellow stains are not just from tobacco

He calls on old pal Al McLean, the editor of the bright yellow Graphic News. Now, Al is a broken down has-been who once offered Danny a job, never thinking the kid would ever take him up on it. But here's Danny, ready and eager like a pit bull puppy. Al is played by Ralph Bellamy, who does a wonderful job as the alcoholic newsman who has fallen about as low as he can go. Danny proves his spunk by using unethical means to get a prized photo of a fireman who, having found his wife and lover dead from a fire, was refusing to come out of his smoldering home.

Danny, with his questionable ethics, fits right in at the Graphic News. When a group of journalism students show up for a tour, Danny imparts all of his journalistic wisdom while making goo-goo eyes at one of the academic cuties (Patricia Ellis as Pat). He describes his job as tracking down the saps who don't want their pictures in the papers. When asked which was his toughest subject, he answered "the Governor." Why? He had to ask his pardon.

Professor Cagney and his students

Shouldn't someone have fired the teacher that sent those kids to the Graphic News rather than the New York Times? Just askin'.....

Naturally, Danny falls for the classy Pat and naturally her father is the police officer who sent Danny to the slammer in the first place. Danny fixes that little dilemma by getting another newspaper to run a glowing story about the protective father. In fact, the story is so influential, the officer is promoted and grateful to Danny. There's also a nice little side story with snazzy Alice White as Allison, a copy writer who romances Al and runs after Danny.

Alice White wants to collaborate with Cagney

Things come to a head when a big story erupts - a woman is to be executed in the electric chair at Sing Sing - and the Graphic News staff, because of the paper's low reputation, is not invited. Danny goes so far as to steal an invitation from another reporter which proves to be useless. But, surprise! Pat's dad is in charge of invited guests! He sneaks Danny in and all who view the execution are reminded that no photos are allowed. Danny, who never met a rule he couldn't bend or break, has secretly strapped a camera to his leg and snaps a picture of the execution.

Ready for a close-up

Danny becomes the scourge of journalism and is chased by a hoard of angry and outraged pressmen. Handing Al the prize photo, the Graphic News lives down to its reputation as the sleaziest tabloid in town. The publication of the photo leads to Pat's dad's demotion, so naturally Pat gives Danny the heave-ho.

The sensational photo

Danny, who has been drowning his sorrow with some hooch, also ticks off fellow alcoholic Al when he sees faithless Allison making the moves on Danny (who is not interested). But Al soon catches on to Allison's faithless ways and quits her, the booze and the Graphic News. But, alls well that ends well. Danny and Al get the scoop on Danny's old partner, Jerry the Mug. This leads to their employment at a real, legitimate newspaper, the Daily Record. Just to make things sweeter, good old dopey dad gets reinstated and Pat and Danny are reunited. Yay!

Cagney gets the job and the girl

All this in 77 minutes (and filmed in 15 days)! This neat and snappy little film is a true example of the Warner Brothers ripped-from-the headlines school of film and is based upon a real life picture snatcher who smuggled a camera strapped to his leg into the execution of murderess Ruth Snyder. The resulting photo was subsequently and sensationally published on the front page of the New York Daily News. For anyone who lives in New York, they can attest that the Daily News has much, still, in common with the Graphic News!

The real execution photo

For more on the Ruth Snyder story, click here.

"Picture Snatcher" is a Warner Brothers and Cagney pre-code home run with lots of fast and funny dialogue. Cagney is a joy and totally in his element as the toughie who knows that all newspaper is eventually good for is wrapping herring.

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IT'S MOVIE STAR MAD LIBS: THE RESULTS SHOW!

The results are in! Enjoy and thanks to all who played along!

JAN MINER:

JOHN WAYNE and ELIZABETH TAYLOR were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE BOISTEROUS LAMPSHADE.”

As hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress in PLUM VESTS and enter the stage holding one another's ELBOW singing “Hooray for CENTRAL PARK.”

While rehearsing, JOHN WAYNE kept hogging the stage, so ELIZABETH TAYLOR decided to throw a BANANA at him. This knocked JOHN WAYNE on his KNEE and made him miss the awards. In retaliation, JOHN WAYNE took out a billboard overlooking ELIZABETH TAYLOR 'S house that said "Never trust ELIZABETH TAYLOR who is a SMELLY HEAVY BRACELET.”

ELIZABETH TAYLOR was outraged and drove her car right over JOHN WAYNE’S prized STAPLER. But when "THE BOISTEROUS LAMPSHADE” was released, their film was a hit and JOHN WAYNE planted a great big kiss on ELIZABETH TAYLOR 'S BELLY BUTTON.

PATTI:

GARY COOPER and RITA HAYWORTH were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE DELIGHTFUL TEAPOT.”

As hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress in TAUPE PAJAMAS and enter the stage holding one another's WRIST singing “Hooray for LAKE TAHOE.”

While rehearsing, GARY COOPER kept hogging the stage, so RITA HAYWORTH decided to throw an OCEAN at him. This knocked GARY COOPER on his LIPS and made him miss the awards. In retaliation, GARY COOPER took out a billboard overlooking RITA HAYWORTH 'S house that said "Never trust RITA HAYWORTH who is a TREMENDOUS ANGRY PIANO.”

RITA HAYWORTH was outraged and drove her car right over GARY COOPER’S prized LAMB. But when "THE DELIGHTFUL TEAPOT” was released, their film was a hit and GARY COOPER planted a great big kiss on RITA HAYWORTH 'S EAR.

JOEL65913:

LINDA DARNELL and WILLIAM HOLDEN were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE AGELESS CASTLE.”

As hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress in PERIWINKLE BLUE SKIRTS and enter the stage holding one another's HAND singing “Hooray for SCOTLAND.”

While rehearsing, LINDA DARNELL kept hogging the stage, so WILLIAM HOLDEN decided to throw a KALEIDOSCOPE at her. This knocked LINDA DARNELL on her EYEBROWS and made her miss the awards. In retaliation, LINDA DARNELL took out a billboard overlooking WILLIAM HOLDEN'S house that said "Never trust WILLIAM HOLDEN who is a DAINTY MAGNIFICENT UNICORN.”

WILLIAM HOLDEN was outraged and drove his car right over LINDA DARNELL’S prized WIGWAM. But when "THE AGELESS CASTLE” was released, their film was a hit and LINDA DARNELL planted a great big kiss on WILLIAM HOLDEN 'S ELBOW.

SILVER SCREENINGS:

ROBERT YOUNG and THELMA RITTER were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE JITTERY HARD DRIVE.”

As hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress in SILVER CAPES and enter the stage holding one another's ESOPHAGUS singing “Hooray for THE LIBRARY.”

While rehearsing, ROBERT YOUNG kept hogging the stage, so THELMA RITTER decided to throw SCISSORS at him. This knocked ROBERT YOUNG on his SPINE and made him miss the awards. In retaliation, ROBERT YOUNG took out a billboard overlooking THELMA RITTER 'S house that said "Never trust THELMA RITTER who is a STRETCHY CROOKED PAIL.”

THELMA RITTER was outraged and drove her car right over ROBERT YOUNG’S prized DIAMOND. But when "THE JITTERY HARD DRIVE” was released, their film was a hit and ROBERT YOUNG planted a great big kiss on THELMA RITTER'S SPLEEN.

CALLMEMADAM:

CAROLE LOMBARD and GEORGE SANDERS were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE ENTHUSIASTIC BALCONY.”

As hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress in TEAL GREEN WOOLY JUMPERS and enter the stage holding one another's KNEE singing “Hooray for THE SAHARA DESERT.”

While rehearsing, CAROLE LOMBARD kept hogging the stage, so GEORGE SANDERS decided to throw A TIARA at her. This knocked CAROLE LOMBARD on her FINGER and made her miss the awards. In retaliation, CAROLE LOMBARD took out a billboard overlooking GEORGE SANDERS' house that said "Never trust GEORGE SANDERS who is a DELICATELY IMPRESSIVE BOTTLE.”

GEORGE SANDERS was outraged and drove his car right over CAROLE LOMBARD'S prized BASKET. But when " THE ENTHUSIASTIC BALCONY” was released, their film was a hit and CAROLE LOMBARD planted a great big kiss on GEORGE SANDERS' NECK.

LE:

JANET GAYNOR and DONALD O'CONNOR were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE FLAMBOYANT STAIRS.”

As hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress in PINK GLOVES and enter the stage holding one another's EYEBROWS singing “Hooray for BRAZIL.”

While rehearsing, JANET GAYNOR kept hogging the stage, so DONALD O'CONNOR decided to throw AN OUTLET at her. This knocked JANET GAYNOR on her TOE and made her miss the awards. In retaliation, JANET GAYNOR took out a billboard overlooking DONALD O'CONNOR'S house that said "Never trust DONALD O'CONNOR who is an AWESOME FRIGHTENING HAT.”

DONALD O'CONNOR was outraged and drove his car right over JANET GAYNOR'S prized HAMMER. But when " THE FLAMBOYANT STAIRS” was released, their film was a hit and JANET GAYNOR planted a great big kiss on DONALD O'CONNOR'S MOUTH.

DORIAN TB:

DANNY KAYE and VIRGINIA MAYO were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE NEON TETRA FINDS.”

As hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress in YELLOW SNOODS and enter the stage holding one another's TOES singing “Hooray for THE BRONX.”

While rehearsing, DANNY KAYE kept hogging the stage, so VIRGINIA MAYO decided to throw an UMBRELLA  at him. This knocked DANNY KAYE on his PINKY and made him miss the awards. In retaliation, DANNY KAYE took out a billboard overlooking VIRGINIA MAYO'S house that said "Never trust VIRGINIA MAYO who is a TANGY FLUFFY BITE.”

VIRGINIA MAYO was outraged and drove her car right over DANNY KAYE’S prized BOMBSHELL. But when "NEON TETRA FINDS” was released, their film was a hit and DANNY KAYE planted a great big kiss on VIRGINIA MAYO'S CLAVICLE.

ALYSSA LM:

GREGORY PECK and SPRING BYINGTON were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE SHORT APPLE.”

As hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress in BLUE LONGJOHNS and enter the stage holding one another's BELLY BUTTONS singing “Hooray for ALASKA.”

While rehearsing, GREGORY PECK kept hogging the stage, so SPRING BYINGTON decided to throw a POT PLANT  at him. This knocked GREGORY PECK on his TOE and made him miss the awards. In retaliation, GREGORY PECK took out a billboard overlooking SPRING BYINGTON 'S house that said "Never trust SPRING BYINGTON who is a PLUMP LANGUOROUS CURTAIN .”

SPRING BYINGTON was outraged and drove her car right over GREGORY PECK’S prized CHAIR. But when "THE SHORT APPLE” was released, their film was a hit and GREGORY PECK planted a great big kiss on SPRING BYINGTON'S LEG.

TODD GROSS:

KING KONG and MAE WEST were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE SOPORIFIC DESK LAMP.”

As hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress in GREEN VESTS and enter the stage holding one another's TONSILS singing “Hooray for NEW ORLEANS.”

While rehearsing, KING KONG kept hogging the stage, so MAE WEST decided to throw a DUMP TRUCK  at him. This knocked KING KONG on his URETHRA and made him miss the awards. In retaliation, KING KONG took out a billboard overlooking MAE WEST 'S house that said "Never trust MAE WEST who is a GREGARIOUS OBESE FIRE HOSE .”

MAE WEST was outraged and drove her car right over KING KONG’S prized WATERMELON. But when "THE SOPORIFIC DESK LAMP” was released, their film was a hit and KING KONG planted a great big kiss on MAE WEST 'S PANCREAS.

MARY NARKIEWICZ:

RUTH GORDON and WALTER MATTHAU were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE UNSANITARY FUNNY BONE.”

As hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress in GREEN SLIPS and enter the stage holding one another's SHOULDER BLADES singing “Hooray for ST. PETERSBURG.”

While rehearsing, RUTH GORDON kept hogging the stage, so WALTER MATTHAU decided to throw A PICNIC TABLE at her. This knocked RUTH GORDON on her LITTLE PINKY FINGER and made her miss the awards. In retaliation, RUTH GORDON took out a billboard overlooking WALTER MATTHAU'S house that said "Never trust WALTER MATTHAU who is a SALUBRIOUS COSMOPOLITAN SOURPUSS.”

WALTER MATTHAU was outraged and drove his car right over RUTH GORDON'S prized BAZOOKA. But when "THE UNSANITARY FUNNY BONE” was released, their film was a hit and RUTH GORDON planted a great big kiss on WALTER MATTHAU'S EAR LOBE.

PATRICIA GALLAGHER

CAROLE LOMBARD and BARBARA STANWYCK were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE BOLD MANICURE.”

As hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress in GOLD EVENING GOWNS and enter the stage holding one another's HAIR singing “Hooray for WARSAW.”

While rehearsing, CAROLE LOMBARD kept hogging the stage, so BARBARA STANWYCK decided to throw A SNAKE at her. This knocked CAROLE LOMBARD on her FACE and made her miss the awards. In retaliation, CAROLE LOMBARD took out a billboard overlooking BARBARA STANWYCK'S house that said "Never trust BARBARA STANWYCK who is a TOUGH CARING BOAT.”

BARBARA STANWYCK was outraged and drove her car right over CAROLE LOMBARD'S prized ASPARAGUS. But when " THE BOLD MANICURE” was released, their film was a hit and CAROLE LOMBARD planted a great big kiss on BARBARA STANWYCK'S LIPS.

RICK29 (note: my friend Rick left out a few words, so I jumped in & helped out).

JOE PESCI and DORIS DAY were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE FUNKY CRAWLSPACE.”

As hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress in RED MITTENS and enter the stage holding one another's NOSE singing “Hooray for THE CONGO.”

While rehearsing, JOE PESCI kept hogging the stage, so DORIS DAY decided to throw A CHAIR at him. This knocked JOE PESCI on his TOES and made him miss the awards. In retaliation, JOE PESCI took out a billboard overlooking DORIS DAY'S house that said "Never trust DORIS DAY who is a HUGE PUZZLING HOUSE.”

DORIS DAY was outraged and drove her car right over JOE PESCI'S prized MEAL. But when " THE FUNKY CRAWLSPACE” was released, their film was a hit and JOE PESCI planted a great big kiss on DORIS DAY'S EAR.

Many, many thanks to all for playing along!!!

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LET'S PLAY MOVIE STAR MAD LIBS!

I love to play word games and I am hoping you will join me!

Mad Libs was a word game I loved as a kid. I am asking all readers to send me the requested word types listed below to help me complete my Movie Star Mad Libs story. Just note your choices in the comment space and I will publish your stories shortly. 

Here they are:

Movie Star Name #1

Movie Star Name #2

Adjective

Noun

Body Part

Place

Color

Article of Clothing

Noun

Body Part

Adjective

Adjective

Noun

Noun

Body Part

Thank you so much for playing! I can't wait to read the results!

p.s. please remember to send all 15 words!

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Queen Kelly: Norma and Max's Wild Ride

Some stories are so perfectly symmetrical you just have to sit back in amazement and feel that the universe is truly some magical Rubiks Cube.

I am blessed to live in a location that affords me the opportunity to see silent films on the big screen with live accompaniment (usually by the there-are-no-words-to-describe-his-majesty Ben Model). This month’s offering: the fabled "Queen Kelly" starring Gloria Swanson and directed by Erich Von Stroheim.

Von Stroheim: Irving Thalberg accused him
of having a footage fetish

Here’s the story:

By 1928, director Erich Von Stroheim had worn out his welcome at MGM and was looking for work. Gloria Swanson had left Paramount and was producing her own films. She had one success with “Sadie Thomson,” and a miss with “The Loves of Sunya.” When Von Stroheim proposed a story of middle European royalty and romance, Swanson and her financial backer (and paramour) Joseph Kennedy, said “yes.” She knew the risks with the excessive Von Stroheim, but she also knew the rewards. Films like “The Merry Widow” and “Foolish Wives,” both big Von Stroheim hits, were similar to her story, known as "Queen Kelly." Swanson and Kennedy were confident they could control the director. Ah, hubris.

Swanson and Kennedy were no match
for the excesses of Von Stroheim

The Swanson/Von Stroheim collaboration resulted in an aborted and fascinating film. Welcome to Kronberg, a mythical middle European country ruled by the mad, sex-crazed booze and drug loving Queen Regina V. She is betrothed to playboy Prince Wolfram (conjuring any images with that name?). He has no interest in the nutty Queen, but she is just mad about the boy. As a punishment for his roving eye, she sends her man out on maneuvers. But Wolfram makes lemonade out of lemons and spots a lovely convent school girl out for a stroll with the rest of her class. Their eyes meet, her pants fall down and they fall in love. Wolfram goes to great lengths to extract little Kitty Kelly from the convent (almost burning it down), abducting her and ultimately spending the night with her in the Queen’s castle. 

Queen Regina V: nude and nutty as a fruit cake

The innocent Kitty Kelly is seduced by the dashing Wolfram

Our nutty Queen does not like this and runs poor Kitty out of the castle, whipping her until she flees out into the streets. Wolfram is thrown into prison and Kitty, once back with the nuns, learns that her aunt in German East Africa has sent for her.

Poor Kitty Kelly: Imagine the wedding night jitters?

It turns out Auntie runs a whore house (one particularly tubercular prostitute is named Cough drops)  and has promised her hand in marriage to the most disgusting old man you have ever seen. Kitty resists, but ultimately gives into the marriage and the union takes place over the Aunt's death bed. This is where the filming stopped. The story goes that Von Stroheim ordered Tully Marshall (the disgusting old man) to drool tobacco juice on Swanson's hand as he took it in matrimony. That was it for glorious Gloria and she had Kennedy can the director.

Queen Kelly: Queen of the Whore House

Swanson attempted to salvage the film, but the fates were not on her side. Not only did she have to contrive a suitable ending that would pass the censors, it was already 1929 and talking pictures had arrived. Eventually, Swanson was able to show a bastardized version of the film in Europe and South America (her ending had the virtuous Kitty ending it all rather than submit to a life of debauchery). It had a musical score and a song by Swanson was thrown in for good measure.

Salvaging the wreck: All talking, all singing, all sinning?

The film I saw was one that was restored by Kino International. Using stills and heavy text in-between to tell the story, it recreated Von Stroheim's original story: Kitty Kelly becomes a rich and powerful madam of her aunt's string of whore houses and she is known as Queen Kelly for her extravagant lifestyle. Wolfram does not marry the nutty queen, who dies, and eventually he brings his heart's desire, Queen Kelly, back to his kingdom.

Well, what can you say? Seena Owen, as the mad queen, is a knockout of rabid sex and screwball eyeballs. Walter Byron was a dashing prince and Tully Marshall as the disgusting groom is - well - disgusting. As for Swanson - oh what a delicious little minx she was! That nose! She is cute, funny, touching and sexy. 

Enter Billy Wilder with his script for "Sunset Boulevard." It is hard to believe that he ever wanted to cast anyone other than Swanson (allegedly, Wilder approached Pola Negri, Mae West and Norma Shearer before Swanson. Co-writer Charles Brackett said Swanson was always the first choice). As Norma Desmond, Swanson is now the mad (silent screen) queen, chasing the chosen lady love of her obsession out of her "castle." She, too, is mad about the boy (she even gives Joe Gillis a gold cigarette case with that little engraved message). But, at last Gloria, Kitty Kelly and Norma get their revenge: Von Stroheim is now the butler (Max) and she actually gets to shoot the faithless lover.

Von Stroheim once again in the driver's seat

A real treat is this scene, which is actually a scene from "Queen Kelly," starring Gloria Swanson and directed by Erich Von Stroheim.

Oh, the delicious irony. "Queen Kelly" is a hoot - beautifully shot, kinky (the Queen's palace is filled to the brim with statues and paintings of nude women, Kitty give a statue of Jesus a longing look and all other sorts of Von Stroheim depravity takes place) and it leaves us longing for more. "Sunset Boulevard" gives us a complete story in which "Queen Kelly" is just one of many subtexts. This is why "Sunset Boulevard" is my favorite film: besides being brilliant on the surface, it is filled with layers and layers of film history and brings together 2 legends formerly at odds and now linked together forever at last in a masterpiece.

For those that want to know more, here is Swanson talking about "Queen Kelly." Isn't she beautiful?

Gloria Swanson discusses Queen Kelly Part 1

Gloria Swanson discusses Queen Kelly Part 2

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